hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize