dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
