you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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