u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
