he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
