Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
