some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
