Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
