I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
