I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
