the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
