soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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