that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
