you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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