Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
