y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
