the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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