before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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