you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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