Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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