just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
