The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
