is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
