Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
