I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize