Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
