Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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