she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
