this beer tastes like vomit already
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
