It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
