You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
