Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
