fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
