I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She said her name was "party"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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