i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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