How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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