tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
