Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize