oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
