I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
