She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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