2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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