no, he came in my armpit
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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