was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
