I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
