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Fuck
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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