u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
