He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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