You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
