You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
