...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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