I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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