OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
