My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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