Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
