I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
