dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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