yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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