I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
