You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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