talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
